"Wouldn’t it be horrible to wear glass slippers every day? Better to have a closet full of Mary Janes, Goth knee-boots, and rocking horse shoes!"

So I guess this is the continuation of that last blog post. I'll just start from when school started, I suppose...

So the first day of school came around, and I was scared to death. As I said before, I was afraid that when I met new people, I would freeze up and become that other person. Now this is going to sound really really stupid, and I am aware of this. But what I did to help motivate me was read a post from Carmina, honestly. Now let me explain this. She's pretty much my role model, honestly in almost every way. She's extremely smart, she has a degree from Yale and Columbia, and she didn't let that law degree corner her into that practice. Some of her fellow classmates and professors had written books, and she figured "If they can do that, why can't I?" and this lead to her first book of three. She then decided that she wanted to persue fashion, and express her love for Gothic Lolita; she now has a small (but growing!) line of gorgeous GL coats. She does this, and keeps up her blog, La Carmina. She now lives in Tokyo, and she blogs about all of her experiences whether that be a Gackt concert, her trip through the Marui1 building in Shinjuku, or just general nightcrawling with her friends around the Decadance or whatever.

She really does everything I want to do in a way. Anyone that really knows me knows that my dreams are to be a psychiatrist, and to go to Harajuku. (Heh, I just realized I was wearing my Harajuku Lovers shirt. XD) Any of her blog posts generally list what I would like to do, and she had a great degree; if you just stick the word 'psychology' in place of 'law', that's pretty much my dream life. I would love to do what she does, and she does everything so well. She multitasks everything, I honestly don't know how she has time to sleep. (Though she claims that she sleeps more than her Scottish Fold cat, Basil Farrow.)

There have been a few questions submitted from readers that she answered in blog form, and they really honestly motivate me at times. I think I'll copy and paste the ones I have in mind, so you know what I'm talking about....


Hello Miss Carmina!

I am an avid reader of your blog and I very much look forward to your books. My inquiry is not of a promotional matter, but a personal inquiry. What I’d like to know is how you got to where you are. I’ve read the articles about you, but what I really want to know is what gave you the courage to abandon a day job and how you knew you’d make enough money as a blogger/writer to support your lifestyle? I’m an artisan, well, a budding one. I studied fashion design in school, then I went into alternative modeling, and the shoe didn’t quite fit. Now I’ve come to realize that I do enjoy making things – from photos, to clothing and accessories. I simply like to create and I want to make my career out of that, however, I’m not even sure what direction to go in. As you are a young entrepreneur, I’d like to know your story, more than what those articles have said. What kept you going, and how did you meet the people necessary to accomplish all that you have accomplished?

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to reading your books and continuing to read your blogs!
Miau, kisskiss, Ia


Dear Miss Ia,

Thank you for your sweet message! I’ve received questions like this before, but never as beautifully worded as yours. I’m delighted to share my thoughts. (Perhaps I’ll turn this into a regular feature, if there is interest?)

† Education = Confidence. I can’t stress this enough. With degrees from Columbia and Yale Law, I have no doubt that I can find meaningful work, in any city and in almost any field. I have no qualms about adapting to changing situations; if the Internet explodes tomorrow, I can still be a scribe or consul, scratching away on papyrus with my quill…

Because of my education, I’m not afraid to plunge into the uncharted waters of J-pop writing/blogging/design. What’s there to lose? If my work didn’t take off and I ran out of money, I’d simply move on to something else. And I wouldn’t have regrets – because for that period, I would have been pursuing something that was 100% my own.

Education also means being in an environment that inspires courage. At Yale, one of my best friends was a bestselling author, and quite a few students were published authors or had agents – so why not me? When you’re around smart, self-motivated people (who tend to be at top universities), your scope of possibility expands… If I hadn’t gone to school, I wouldn’t have fathomed writing a book, starting a business, or even living alone in a foreign country!

Must you work in the field you study? Absolutely not, unless you want to mummify yourself! I went to law school; you went to fashion school – all this means is that we picked up skills and succeeded in a rigorous program. This pattern will continue wherever you go (and it bodes well for starting a business).


† My advice for getting started: DIY & DIN! (Do it yourself and do it now!) I have a lot of friends who talk big but never launch a thing. If you’re disgruntled with alternative modeling, DIY & DIN: grab a camera, style yourself, take the photos yourself and get the images on the Net. Blogs and YouTube let you upload content for free, and you get an immediate response – so what are you waiting for? DIY & DIN! If you want to test the waters for an accessories business, get your goods on eBay and Etsy, and see what happens. Again, surrounding yourself with smart and self-motivated people gives you the confidence to figure it out. Video editing, web design, setting up a business… if others can do it, you can too.

† If you want your main career to be an artistic one, you MUST treat it like a business. Remember: publishers, boutiques, and record labels will only invest in something that sells. So you’ve got to do the Kung Fu Hustle! Highlight your press mentions and online presence. Pitch your project from a sales angle; once you have the green light, you can make it your own. For example, my Theme Restaurants book contains stories about my friends and our adventures in Tokyo – tales that otherwise wouldn’t have been published.

† Be bold and get your creations out there, and you’ll have no trouble meeting likeminded travelers! My recent collaborations with J-List, Aromaleigh, Gloomth, Lime Crime and Akina stemmed from mutual admiration, or introductions by readers who enjoy our work. Every day, a new opportunity springs up from these connections: an interview, a co-promotion, an ad sale… I’m amazed at how many encouraging people I’ve met through my blog and videos.

† Finally, don’t fret over finding the perfectly-fitting shoe. Cinderella is a fairy tale; wouldn’t it be horrible to wear glass slippers every day? Better to have a closet full of Mary Janes, Goth knee-boots, and rocking horse shoes!

Ten years ago, everyone was literally “web crawling” via 32K modems. How could I have foreseen a career as a blogger? And did I ever expect to live in Tokyo or own a Scottish Fold cat? Madness!

My advice is to keep up with the latest web technologies, especially social networks. This is where young people have a major edge, so let’s take full advantage of it. Perhaps (as was the case with me) your career hasn’t been invented yet – but when it comes around, you’ll be ready to pounce.

Til then… be a ninja, dye your hair, nightcrawl with vampires, and you can’t go wrong!



There's that one. I really love the way she thinks, and how she puts things. I loved this quote, "Finally, don’t fret over finding the perfectly-fitting shoe. Cinderella is a fairy tale; wouldn’t it be horrible to wear glass slippers every day? Better to have a closet full of Mary Janes, Goth knee-boots, and rocking horse shoes!" I know it might sound stupid and random to some of you, but this is honestly kind of how I think. I really like that she's saying not to worry about getting in with what is the 'acceptable' way of life, to find something you're good at and go for it. I would probably kill myself if I had to do the same thing everyone else does, and I'd much rather go with Rocking Horse Ballerina shoes than glass slippers any day, whether you take that literally or metaphorically. Things like this helped me not to completely freeze up, with the thought that if I just slipped into the crowd and became that other, shy person, I probably WOULD end up like everyone else, and really, I've never been quite normal; I shouldn't try to be. While I did kind of freak out, I didn't as much as I think I would have otherwise, and now I'm starting to act the way I usually do.


Kikoo you !!!

Oki … I said that I had a question for you and here it is !!! I see that you are a blogger, author, lifestyle authority and designer. My question is, how do you manage your time, per ‘role’ each day ? How do you prioritize when you are clubbing, doing public apperances, writing content for your blog, working on upcoming books … the works.

You seem to have so many pots on the fire I wonder how you compartmentalize everything. I don’t really want to talk about myself here but I will say that I am awed at your ability to multi-task. I have many things in front of me including soon to be moving to Europe to be with my fiance and having to support myself financially. My training/speciality is advertising and marketing so I feel that I can ‘bounce’.

I am very curious as to how you pull this off!
Best to you and Basil. Your silly, dark sister in New England.
- Ging


† † † † † † †
On my lengthy list of OCD fixations, productivity is written in caps. I think there are always ways in which we can “work smarter” without sacrificing sleep (and heaven knows I catch almost as many ZZZs as Basil Farrow!).

Everyone knows the tricks for getting work done: find a well-lit and quiet environment, limit distractions, plan in advance, write down little goals for the day (such as studying up to a certain chapter)…

So if we know all the answers, then why are we panicking the night before our Japanese exam? Because it’s one thing to list ways to be productive, and quite another to tick the boxes.

† It is my MINDSET that compels me to finish tasks: my attitude towards productivity is unusually tyrannical. When my hands reach to shut off the laptop, the little Lolita on my shoulder yells: “How weak you are! You set the reasonable goal of answer a reader’s question – and you couldn’t make it? For shame.” (Believe me, this chibi-Loli yells slurs a thousand times harsher than anything you’ll read on LiveJournal.)

† Stop letting things slide and crack the whip. The little Loli should be muttering: “ANY time you find yourself scrambling, you have failed epically.” In college, I took pride in never pulling all-nighters or relying on “performance enhancers.” It became something of a game; I “won” when I got a draft in early or was ahead in the readings…

All of this might sound crazy, but who cares? Nobody else hears the angry-Loli, and your work gets DONE.

† Spit it out. Hem and haw, and you’ll never shoot the video or start the kitty blog. The product might not be as polished, but better to release an imperfect pearl than let it fester in your shell.

Today, for example, I worked on… something (can’t tell you yet!). I wasn’t 100% sure about it, but sent it off nonetheless. Chances are that it’s fine and I won’t have to dwell on the thing any longer. If it’s not, then better to get feedback ASAP and make changes.

† Buck up. This is a favorite saying among some of my friends, used in the context of going out: “Buck up! Put on those heels and get on the Yamanote Line!”

Again, it’s all about mindset: to stay on the couch is to be feeble. Strength means showing your face at two Tokyo all-night parties in a row. The main purpose of these outings (for me, at least) isn’t hedonism, but inspiration; rejuvenation. And what better way to meet “like-minded travelers” that open your eyes to new opportunities?

† The image of “juggling many roles” is an intimidating one. I view my daily schedule as a series of tiny tasks: writing a blog post, finishing caption edits, drafting a design, replying to an advertiser and my agent, prepping photos for future posts. These tasks may be for different ends, but they’re all manageable… as long as I get them done. From this perspective, I don’t think I have more roles than normal; some of you are students with part-time jobs, or have children/cats to care for…

I’ll leave the last word to the Lolita on your shoulder. “Buck up and spit it out. Putting things off for tomorrow equals weakness. The only way you can prove your strength… is to DIY & DIN! (Do it yourself and do it now!)”


I also like this one. This is the reason my math homework got done, honestly. It may seem to you that I'm slacking off, but I'm honestly trying to be better, I really am. I won't linger on this subject too much.



I thought it would seem to be aberrant of me to send this letter, but I overcame that fear, for how could a letter of praise be received poorly? Many ways I suppose, but I will go on… When I finally leave this wretched town in the middle of nowhere in pursuit of actual LIFE… I would most like to emulate your lifestyle…it seems ideal attending law school, running a fashion line, writing novels, traveling abroad, and possessing a kitty-cat. Thank you for being a living inspiration.

I still have to survive dreaded high school before it withers away my sense of self, and salvage whatever is left. I have dreamt of unleashing my pent up creativity and dissatisfaction and possibly create a sort of cultural hearth in our wasteland with a Nightclub…but alas that is simply one of my delusional fancies. I consume countless images on the computer and web articles but I am not creating…In our unfortunate flawed society of the consumer and the producer I am reduced to the rotting sponge mass that cannot exchange. I speak yet I do not take action; I prevent myself with excuses; I squander my precious youth. HOW DO YOU DO IT? People tend to have a strong aversion towards me because they would rather be kept in their respective isolated bubbles then have a stimulating conversation or bear witness to the truth… and concrete reality. I am actually shied away from because of my wicked sense of fashion because it is ”different”; I am not mindlessly submitting to the collective.

AHH! I am going off on a tangent here that was not my intention.
1) Do you have a more opportunistic outlook? 2) How do these opportunities arise in your life? 3) How do you suggest I go about establishing a blog and making something of myself if I am technologically inept? I am already assimilating into the normalized suburban community and I need to prevent that!

-Samantha


Dear Samantha,

1990s flashback! Your experience sounds so much like mine in high school. Every day, this little Goth’s eyes rolled to the back of her head at the sight of her Lip-Smackered classmates. How I longed to find fellow darklings and fly away… (Photos above are of me at age 16!)

It’s funny to look at my classmates’ faces on Facebook a decade later: people don’t change much. Their photos reveal tanning in Cabo, cosmos with the girls before a Britney concert, grinding with jock boys… while mine are of, um, Gothic pallor parties in Tokyo, mad tea with the cosplayers prior to Moi dix Mois, and rope suspensions with transsexuals…

1) If you are anything like me, life will be superb after high school! Patience, my dear; you won’t be in a small town with small minds for much longer. Until then, do the absolute best you can in class – because with a strong academic record, you have a greater choice of colleges, work options, and places to live. Then apply to the best colleges; being around smart people never hurts. The worst thing you can do is squander your education now and be stuck in Smallville forever.

I have no doubt that with your many interests and fierce individuality, you’ll soon be living the life you want to lead! But remember to be patient… it took me 6 years (from the start of college to now) to be where I am now – and I have so much more to work for.

2) Opportunities rarely arise… you must chase them down and stab them with your pitchfork! Every gig I’ve ever had came from approaching someone and pleading my case. It’s not going to be easy; I’ve gotten a good share of rejection letters. But the more you stab in a certain direction, the more likely you are to draw blood. Approach people you admire; send out emails; apply for internships; propose collaborations; save money so you can spend the summer in Tokyo. It’s up to you – meaning that if you put in a good effort, opportunity will rear its head.

3) When I was in my teens, my dream job was to work for MuchMusic (the Canadian MTV) or a big record company. How times have changed; music labels/TV stations are now gasping their last breaths. The same may be the case for blogs – which is why my current path may not be the one for you. I encourage you to explore blogging and social networks, but keep in mind that most opportunities have yet be created. In a few years, you’ll be ready to pounce on the next wave, whatever it may be.



4) You must fight assimilation tooth and nail, and never let down your guard. It is ridiculously easy to take the steady path; to get off where the sign reads “content” instead of hacking through the jungle towards “sublime”. After college, many people take the adequate paycheck, telling themselves that they can pursue their dreams later on. But before they realize it, inertia sets in – and these dreams aren’t worth the effort of getting off the couch.

Fight mellowness to the death, with the help of your comrades. My closest friends will give me a good spanking if I exhibit any sign of “settling for less”. I’m certain that you too will find allies in the years after high school. Again, patience – and you’ll soon be overwhelmed by opportunities. Gambatte!

PS: I don’t possess the cat – Basil Farrow possesses me! (He came into my life of his own accord, as you may recall from this profile.)



This is also help for me. I loved her line about how stabbing with your pitchfork in a certian direction is sure to draw blood someplace. I sometimes feel as though I'm stabbing at the air with a toothpick, just waiting for someone to step into the line of contact. I feel as though I need to keep trying at things, and instead of loving things by myself, doing something about it. Take that class, join that club, try studying it on my own; put down my pathetic excuse for an attempt, weild my pitchfork, and aim. I would really like to do something involving either psychiatry or Japan. I don't really know what that would be yet, but this helps me to keep stabbing in that certain direction, so I'm now taking Japanese, and I'm asking the office about how to join a club Monday. I can't take psychology this year, but I'm planning on taking it next year, and I've been doing tidbits of research on my own. I have a certain fascination with schizophrenia, but that's another story.

I just realized how much I'm ranting. This was supposed to be a post about school starting, and it just turned into this blog about motivation and education. XD Ah well, I never was good at staying on topic, was I? I guess I'll try again tomorrow, dad is trying to get me to go to bed at the moment. Well I guess you got into my head a little bit here, didn't you? I guess this is how I think, not that any of you really wanted to know. Well, I suppose I'll end by saying "wish me luck"? *sigh* Here's to my newly found pitchfork, may I aim in the right direction.

<3
Lashy