Resolved Will of Man

New Years; the holiday generally connotes resolution, improvement, and new beginnings. Personally, I've never honestly succeeded in fulfilling, or even remembering, my goals for the coming year, though I do express a large amount of passion and interest in self development throughout those first few months. I've procrastinated my list of goals this year, so I'd like to stop that now by way of a list posted for (slightly more) public visibility; I know myself, and I'm aware that I am more likely to do something committed to under view of another person. This way, the process of creating and typing them up with further cement them in my mind than preceding years, as well as give myself some sort of statement to uphold. (Another reason being the pressure of social conformity due to a multiplicity of followed blogs making similar posts. Shh.)

1. Write More. By this I mean both prose and journal; I immensely enjoy both once I've put myself in the habit, but regularly fall out of it again for one reason or another. I'll intentionally avoid stating some sort of detail under the first, because in all honesty it's what helps me cope during an especially stressful episode of depression, and anything that wants to escape from my heart will do so of its own accord, and of no restrictions set mentally. I've been so occupied with homework and the release of stress from such that I've honestly not been doing so, and I'd really like to take up the habit again. It's beneficial to my mental and emotional health, as well as a generally fit past-time for my mind. As for journal writing... As previously mentioned, I repeatedly drop the habit, but would very much like to train myself into it once again. I know it's good for me and I enjoy it, but I'm not particularly skilled in the area of memory retention, as you well know. (Be quiet, you.) I also think something interesting to consider would be printing my blog posts and combining them with any written entries in the binder that serves as my personal journal. In this way, I can collect both those things I write to myself, and those to my social circle; this seems to me a good way to preserve my thoughts and actions for the future.

2. Read my Scriptures. I admit to being absolutely and completely horrible at this one; each time I attend LDS Seminary at school, I tell myself that I will read my scriptures, I will attempt to grow this testimony that definitely needs a lot of work, I will try to better myself... And nothing changes. That's not acceptable, and I know that. I don't hold much else to express about this other than my shame (especially in comparison to my wonderful friends) at never doing what I know is required of me.

3. Get Good Grades. Brittany, I'm aware how much you loathe me talking of school and my ambitions of the future, but this needs to be expressed as well. The end of first term brought a surprising amount of pride in my grades, but unfortunately it is currently a week until the end of the second; I've tried to the best of my ability (the majority of the time, we all have our days), and still haven't gotten grades I want to see remain on my GPA. I'll try my hardest to revive them before the week is out, however if it proves impossible, I would like to commit to studying harder and getting better grades next term. This should be more realistic a request now that I've discontinued my Pre Calculus course.

5. Read More Advanced Literature. As you may or may not be aware of, I am taking two AP classes this year, one of which being a Literature and Composition course. I've always been particularly skilled in linguistic  subjects, especially English, throughout my life. I was raised in a family in which much reading and cultural nurture took place, nursing to my more aesthetic and intellectual side, so advanced skills in reading and writing were very near average and expected of me; I've been brought up to think of lower English classes as the dumbed down version, whether that was my parents' intent or not. I've recently realized due to my AP Lit class that, though I have always been more inclined towards the written arts for lack of comparative skill in other areas, I'm not sure I ever actually enjoyed it to the point I do now. I believe I've always mistaken the preference for my strengths as a love for reading, when the two were not synonymous in any way. I definitely used to read, but never to the extent I do now, and never to the advancement. I'm now reading at least five classics a semester, as well as any personal readings and our poetry assignments; these books have caused me to realize how much I honestly have a love for beautiful stories, characters, and words. I've become acquainted with so many people who, however fictional, made me laugh and cry with them, and even fall in love with a few. I've hilighted my books so thoroughly that there seems to be more colored than white on numerous pages. I've been taught how to truly think, and how to apply things, how to honestly love literature. I can now say with complete passion that I honestly love to read, and wish I had more time with which to do it. I'd like to read so much more this year, and expand my mental library of classics. I'd also like to gather more quotes from my various readings, as I've just created a pretty little book to serve as a collection of quotations. I honestly hope to expand my mind this year.