Uuuuugh. I have so much crap I need to spill right now, but I don't know how much I want to say on this blog... Yes, it is private, but there are still those that I don't see that often and I know probably don't give a fish about any of it. The people that will think I'm just an emotional teenager, which, though I may be, doesn't mean I'm not actually feeling any of it. Even if the actual event isn't that horrible, that's how it feels to me, even worse with me still getting used to my pills.
*sigh* I really... Just don't feel too well lately. I go to school and I'm happy, I spaz around with everyone, but I really don't care. I get home and I just don't feel that... I don't know. Mom and dad keep telling me that they're "Disturbed," because I'm "Going off into some dark places and not coming back." I come home and sit on my computer and zone out to where ever I need to go. And honestly, I don't care. Do they want me to be one of those soulless happy faces? People always talk about happiness, and yes it's awesome, but... It's... I don't even know how to describe what I want to say. Like, you read a book about insanity and death and you really connect to it. You feel it more, with happy things, there is no substance behind it! It's just happy rantings, no one cares. I've always felt that there was more beauty in morbidity. I'd just rather read something that makes me feel something, something that tears at my heart and makes me cry. Rather than "We're happy, our lives are awesome, and we all live happily ever after. The end." You know? You know, I don't care. I'm distracting myself by listening to Heroin. xD Go, Jui! Yeah, this is my first time listening to it, so I'm trying not to laugh. NOW I understand. xD Darn fangirls.
EDIT: And this video. Ahaha! "Rame doesn't know about YAOI, but he always loves Jui." *FANGIRL SQUEALS KILL THE WORLD*
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